Tearing At My Heart
by emerrybubbles
Summary: When Terri experiences yet another tragic loss in her life, all she wants to do is end the pain forever. Will the strange men who saved her life be able to convince her that life is worth living?
1. Chapter 1

_"Alex, where's mom and dad?" I asked my 10-year-old twin brother. He glanced over at me trying to spin my soccer ball on my finger, failing miserably, "They promised they'd be here right when practice was done with Ben so we could go to Chuck E Cheese's!"_

_Alex laughed and smacked the ball out of my hand. "Terri, you're doing it wrong. Just relax, they'll be here soon, they promised right after…" Alex said these last words watching our coach walk over with a solemn look on his face."Kids…" the coach said quietly and kneeled down in front of us. "I'm not sure how to say this. You're parents and brother were in a car accident…they didn't make it. I'm so sorry. Your uncle Jim is on his way to come get you."_

_"W-what?!" Alex gasped. I started to cry and Alex hugged me tightly. I pushed him away and ran from them, from it all. Alex tried to run after me, but I was too fast. I kept running, until everything turned black._


	2. Chapter 2

"Terri, we're here." Alex said, shaking me awake.

"What? Oh, thanks." I struggled with my seatbelt, trying to get out of the car. Though, I didn't really want to be here, it was too painful. The dream I had been having, a memory of that day, was still fresh in my mind. I always had that dream this time of the year. On the 8th anniversary of our parents and brother dying. So young, so innocent. '8 years isn't nearly long enough to get over something like this,' I thought to myself, bitterly. Alex waved a hand in front of my face.

"Ter, you alright?" he asked, looking concerned. I'd been leaning against the car door, too caught up my emotions to enter the graveyard where our family lied.

"Yea, I'm alright, just thinking." I mumbled.

"Alright, let's go then." he said, forcing a smile. He always tried to stay happy for me. Sometimes I just wished he'd let his emotions out. Just scream. I've heard it helps clear your mind. But that's not like Alex. He's cool and collected, too old for his age. 'Probably from taking care of me all these years,' I realized.

He handed me a basket full red and white roses, taking one for himself and a flashlight for when the sun would set. On our way through the cemetery I sniffed one of the roses. Red for Dad and white for Mom. They were my favorite colors also. 'They went perfectly together.'

I mainly said things in my head, not liking to share my thoughts with people. I hadn't even muttered a word after the funeral until I was 12. Some kids were making fun of me in class one day because I didn't answer the teacher's question. They thought I was stupid. That's what everyone thought. I'm actually pretty smart. But you stay silent for that long and people just automatically assume you belong in Special Ed. Then they started spouting off crap about my parents and that was it, I just exploded. Every ounce of emotion I'd bottled up since that day I let loose on the kid who had started it. I was shouting everything that entered my head as I bashed his face in. He ended up with a broken nose, black eye, sprained wrist and decided to be home schooled for the rest of the year. He'd have been a lot worse if Alex hadn't pulled me off of him before I finished. Stupid son of a bitch was always looking out for me. I was suspended for 2 weeks, which was getting off pretty easy. Except that none of the other kids went near me anymore. I think they were too afraid. I didn't really care though. It was nice being left alone.

My family's graves finally came into view as we neared the end of the cemetery and my thoughts switched back to that painful day. I felt like crying, but didn't. 'Crying's for babies,' I told myself. My Uncle Jim, my mom's brother, reminded me of that when he came home drunk and hit me. He never touched Alex, though. He said it was because Alex wasn't "a stupid girl" like I was. I think he was hurt by a woman when he was younger. Alex tried to protect me but he wasn't very strong. He laid his flowers down on all 3 of the graves and I did the same. We put 41 on our mom and dad's graves each and 12 on our brothers. Kind of like birthday candles on a cake. Except we were marking how many years they would have been alive. Sick? Maybe. But it helped us cope.

Alex cleared his throat. "Do you want to start?" he asked me. I gave him a dumbfounded look. "Do I ever want to start?" He rolled his eyes, "Right, I'll go then. Give me a minute." He pursed his lips together and his gaze became distance. 'This outta be good' I thought.

I watched him as he tried to think of something to say that would do our family justice. A breeze came through and blew his dark shaggy hair into his face. "Phhtthhppp" he spit the hair out of his mouth and shoved the rest back with his hand. I chuckled. For twins, we acted completely different. Anyone could tell we were twins, though. We had the same dark almost black hair and grey eyes. Pale as they come and small figures, we took after our mom. The only difference between Alex and I was that my hair went down to the middle of my back. Ben was only 4 when he died but he would have been a lady killer. He looked just like dad, light brown hair with natural caramel highlights and big brown eyes. "Alright, I've got it" Alex stated. 'Here we go' I shivered. "Mom, Dad, Ben," he started, "I hope you guys are doing alright in heaven." 'You've got to be kidding me!' I thought. I threw him a dirty look. "What?" he asked, looking confused.

"Are you retarded?" I snapped. "You really think, after all we've been through, that there's some "all loving god" out there?! That they're in some super awesome place, made out of clouds and rainbows?!" He was hanging his head now. I could tell he didn't want to look at me.

"Maybe there is…" he whispered. Honestly, sometimes it felt as if _I_ were the older, wiser twin. "Yea?!" I shoved him, making him stumble back a few feet. "Then where has he been these past 8 years, Alex?! Why didn't he save Mom, Dad, and Ben?! Answer me that!" My face was wet from my tears. I hadn't even realized I'd been crying.

"Terri, don't cry. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make you so… emotional." he said, trying to comfort me with a hug. I pushed him away again and wiped my eyes.

"I'm not emotional, you're just-HIC! Dammit! You're just an idiot." Great, hiccups from crying. I tried hitting him again but he just backed up, laughing now. "Why the hell are you-HIC-laughing?" This was not helping my anger go down any.

"I'm sorry," he said between laughs. "This is pretty funny" "It is not! Now stop laughing!" I commanded. He quickly calmed down and fixed the flowers he had kicked during his fits of laughter. Alex was weird like that. He could always go from being sad and quiet to happy and giggly in 2 seconds flat. I sometimes thought he was bipolar, it kind of worried me. I usually stayed the same mood, depressed and angry. Sure, I had my good days every once in a while. Those were when Uncle Jim went out-of-town for what ever excuse he came up with. I have to pick up something from a friend a few towns over, my stripper girlfriend needs to get bailed out of jail again, and my favorite, I need a break from your bullshit. I loved it when he left because then it was just be me and Alex hanging out. We usually rented a couple of movies, ordered a pizza, and raided the liquor cabinet. It was almost like having a normal life. "Terri? You there?" Alex asked, waving his hand in my face. "Why do you always zone out like that? It's really weird," he asked. I laughed. "Because you're so normal?" He scoffed. "I think anyone would agree that I'm a hell of a lot more normal than you are." I rolled my eyes. It was true.

We stood there in silence for a moment. "So, are we gonna finish this or not?" I asked, growing impatient of just standing there. He muttered something I couldn't hear before picking up a rose from the basket. "What?"

"_Fine._ I'm starting over though."

"Whatever," I mumbled, "Just no more crap about heaven and god. Let's keep this realistic." I crossed my arms and tried to keep the tears in as he cleared his throat. "Mom, Dad, Ben, we really miss you guys and-" he stopped suddenly. "What is that?" he asked, staring into the bushes a few yards in front of us. "What is what?" I asked, confused. I squinted at the spot he was pointing at but could barely see as the sun had nearly set. "I don't see anything" He turned on his flashlight as he walked over and shined it on the spot. "I'm not sure. I think there's someone watching us." He walked closer to the tall hedge of bushes and called out "Is someone in there?" A low growl was our reply. My eyes grew wide. "Alex, I think that's an 'it' not a 'who'. Let's just go before it attacks," I pleaded. Seattle was not known for its vicious animals but that sounded like a very large, angry animal. He nodded and started to back up slowly. The bushes shook and we both froze. A couple of seconds went by and then someone emerged. It looked like a normal ragged man except for the glowing yellow eyes and sharp inhuman teeth. I looked down at its hands and saw claws that could easily scratch someone's face off. "Alex!" My voice was a high-pitched half scream half whisper. "Move!" Alex chucked the flashlight at the creature and ran towards me, eyes wide in fear. He grabbed my arm and we took off towards the entrance of the cemetery. The sun had set and the only light was bouncing ahead of us from my flashlight.

"Shit" I groaned. We had gone off the path and were lost in a cluster of graves. A loud growl ripped through the air and I started to run faster. My lungs were on fire. I couldn't tell which direction the sound had come from so I just hoped I was going the opposite way. I cocked my ears to my right suddenly realizing I hadn't heard my brother gasping for air beside me since I had sped up. I whipped around and didn't see him anywhere. "Alex!" I screamed, "Where are you?!" I heard something that sounded like my name back the way I had come and ran towards it full speed. "Alex!" I continued to call for him. "Terri!" I could hear him cry my name. "Terri!" Something was wrong, he sounded like he was in pain. "No, no, no, no please, please" I cried softly. "Help me please! God please!" His voice sounded strangled, but louder. I was getting closer. I rounded a hedge and what I saw next shook my very soul. There he was, my big brother by 7 minutes, my protector, my best friend lying between two mossy headstones covered in blood from what looked like 2 deep claw marks in his chest. I tripped over a low headstone and fell to the ground and scrambled over to him. Everything was happening too fast to think normally. He wasn't breathing. I was about to try CPR, when I noticed something that had me turn and heave up everything my stomach held. His heart was missing. That thing had attacked my brother and ripped his heart out of his chest.

I heard a growl in front of us and looked up. The creature was standing, hunched over a few yards in front of me and looked ready to pounce for round two. A white-hot rage over took me and I rose to my feet. I let out a strangled cry and ran towards it swinging my flashlight as a weapon. It easily knocked it out of my hand and the force made me fall to my side, barely missing my head on a gravestone. I tried to get back up but it threateningly raised one of its claws and I was sure I was about to meet the same fate as my brother's. I squeezed my eyes shut waiting for the pain to come, but then a gunshot rang out. It let out an animalistic cry and took off. 'What the hell just happened,' I wondered, still in shock.

"Are you alright?" a deep voice asked. I looked up to see 2 men with hand guns standing over me. 'Are they talking to me?' I wondered, my vision blurring.

"Miss," a different voice asked. "Is that your friend?" I looked over in time to see a final trickle of blood escape my brother's mouth. He was gone. And then, with no idea what else to do… I started screaming… until everything went black.


	3. Chapter 3

"_What the fuck do you think you're doing home so late?!" my drunken uncle demanded to know._

"_I'm home 10 minutes before my curfew." I stated, calmly. He squinted at the clock on the wall._

"_I say what time it is you little bitch!" he yelled. I ignored him. This was how things normally went when I came home. The outcome depended on how drunk he was. He lunged at me and missed by an inch. 'Please don't be too bad…' I pleaded in my mind. I knew running away would only make it worse so I stood still. He started off by slapping me. Once, twice, then pushed me to the ground. His kicks to my stomach and ribs took my breath away. I didn't cry though. That made him angrier. I couldn't take much more. He took another drink from his whiskey and went to smash the bottle over my head, but a hand reached out and stopped it._

"_Uncle Jim, stop!" a voice begged. I looked up and saw Alex standing in front of me._

"_Get out-of-the-way, boy! This has nothing to do with you!" our uncle yelled, pushing him out of my path. I slowly got up and grabbed on to Alex's arm for support._

"_You two disgust me." Jim spit out. "Your parents would be so disappointed! I envy them for not having to deal with you!" Tears streamed down my brothers face as he helped me walk to our bedroom. We had to share one since the house was so small. I heard the front door slam and I knew that I wouldn't have to deal with that bastard until the next morning._

"_Finally!" I exclaimed, wincing in pain. "The only good part of the day is when he leaves for the bar." I sat down on my bed and Alex looked me over._

"_Anything broken?" he asked, softly._

"_No, I'll survive" I replied, trying to lie down._

"_Here, I'll get the first aid kit. Again." he said, opening the closet. We had to hide it in there so Uncle Jim wouldn't throw it away. He didn't like it when Alex helped me. "I'm so sick of him hurting you!" he told me while applying rubbing alcohol to the cuts on my stomach._

"_Yea, me too." I said. "But we only have 2 months left until we're 18 and can leave. We can make it."_

"_Yea." he smiled. "2 months…"_

I jolted awake. I hated dreaming about memories of my uncle. 'Where the hell am I?' I wondered, looking around. I seemed to be trapped in a hotel room. This was scary. I couldn't remember anything. I heard voices coming from the bathroom and sat up in the lumpy bed I'd been sleeping in.

"So, what should we do with her?" one asked.

"I don't know, Dean. Let's just wait until she wakes up."

'Who the hell are they? I have to get out of here and find Alex.' I realized and stood up. I swayed and sat back down on the bed. 'Alex… what happened to him?' Everything was fuzzy. I remembered going to visit our parents at the cemetery, but then nothing. I got back up more steadily and made my way to the door. All the locks were bolted shut and there was a line of salt in front of the door. 'Weird.' I thought. The noise I made trying to undo the locks must have caught their attention because they came out and one of the guys grabbed me.

"Woah there, you're not going anywhere." the one holding me said. I struggled with him.

"Let me go!" I demanded.

"We need to ask you a few questions first." the other guy said. The guy holding me led me to the bed and sat me down. I glared at him.

"What kind of questions would you need to ask me? I don't even know you." I asked. They both looked at each other.

"We…" the one started out, seeming unsure of what to say.

"We saved your ass at the cemetery." the other one finished for him. 'What?' I wondered. 'Wait… the creature. No. That was a dream! Wasn't it?'

"Where's my brother?" I demanded to know. They looked at each other again.

"Was that the guy you were with at the cemetery?" the seemingly nicer one asked. I nodded my head. He looked down, unsure of what to say again. The other guy looked at me sadly.

"He… didn't make it. That thing we saved you from got to him first. I'm sorry." he finally said. I sat there stunned for a moment and then started to remember. That beast had gotten to him when we were separated. And ripped his heart out of his chest. "No…" I whispered. 'He's ok…he has to be.' I shook my head.

"Where is he?" I asked. I couldn't meet their eyes. The one who had grabbed me went over to the dresser and picked something up. He held it out to me.

"We got these off of him," he said quietly. I took it and nodded slowly. They were his dog tags. They were our dads from the air force. It was the only thing of our parent's Uncle Jim let us keep after the funeral. Alex wanted me to have it, but I had refused. He'd never taken it off since.

"We buried him in the cemetery." the other guy explained. I was starting to fully understand what had happened. My brother was gone. And I would never see him again. I began to sob and held the only thing of my brother I had left close to me. I had nothing to live for.


	4. Chapter 4

**4th chapter**

I awoke once again in the hotel bed. Only this time I remembered everything. 'I must have fainted.' I realized, feeling numb. Looking around I noticed the two guys that had "saved me" sitting on the other bed watching me.

"How are you feeling?" The nicer one asked. I stared at him, dumbly. 'How the hell do you think I feel?" I asked. My voice sounded hollow and dead. I couldn't take being alive anymore. I got up and stumbled towards the door. The one who had grabbed me before stood up and walked in front of me.

"Where do you think you're going?" he asked. I tried to push him out of my way, but he was too strong.

"Get out of my way!" I begged. I couldn't help but start to cry again.

"We know you've experienced a terrible loss, but we don't want you to do anything dangerous to yourself," the one still on the bed told me. "Are there any family members we can contact to come and get you?" 'Ha. Family members?' I thought, bitterly. The only family I had left was Uncle Jim, and he wouldn't care if Alex was dead or not. Dead. I was so used to using that word to describe my parents. It wasn't fair that I had to use it for Alex too. I shook my head.

"How about any friends?" the guy in front of me asked. 'Alex was my only friend.' I thought, sadly. I shook my head again.

"How old are you?" the guy on the bed asked. 'What's with all these questions?' I thought, staying quiet. 'It's not like they really even care.' The guy in front of me started to get impatient.

"Look, we're trying to help you. Just answer the question." he said. I gave him the evil look I gave to everyone when I wanted to be left alone. I usually let my facial expressions do the talking for me. Alex could always read them. The guy on the bed got up and walked to me. I looked in his eyes. They seemed cold and empty. Like he'd been through a lot of bad crap in his life, too.

"I know you're scared. But we wanna help you." he told me.

"What killed my brother?" I asked, bluntly. They looked at each other again. They could read each other, just like me and Alex. The guy blocking the door motioned for me to sit down. I stood there for a moment longer contemplating my choices, then finally went and sat down on the bed I had awoken from. They both sat on the bed opposite from me and the other one started.

"I think we should start by introducing ourselves. I'm Sam, and this is my brother, Dean. What's your name?" 'I don't care what your names are just tell me about my brother!' I thought, annoyed. He didn't seem like he was going to tell me until I told him something.

"Terri." was all I said.

"Is that with a "Y" or an "I"?" Dean asked, sarcastically. "That's with a shut up and start explaining." I said. "Never mind" he grumbled. I glared at them both. "Spit it out." They exchanged looks again.

"You're brother was killed by a werewolf." Sam said. I stared at him, blankly.

"Yeah, they do exist." Dean added. 'Unbelievable.' I thought.

"How stupid do you think I am?" I asked, angrily.

"Well, what do you think it was?" Dean asked, seeming annoyed.

"I don't know, some homeless guy hyped up on PCP?" I said, trying to think logically. "That makes more sense than a _werewolf_."

"Well, sorry sweetheart, but it _was_ a werewolf. And he was gonna rip your heart out until we got there. So, some appreciation wouldn't hurt!" Dean said, loudly. 'Appreciation?!' I thought, half angry, half shocked.

"My brother is still DEAD!" I yelled, too angry to let my tears out. Sam glared at his brother.

"Let me handle this." he told him. Turning to me he said "We realize that and we're sorry for your loss. But, it _was_ a werewolf."

"It didn't look like a werewolf," I stated. "It wasn't all hairy."

"We're not talking about hollywood werewolves here. We're talking about an real person who has a disease. They grow sharp teeth and claws when the moon is becoming full. But still keep their human form." Dean tried explained. I shook my head, not believing a word they were saying.

"They rip out the hearts of their victims. Or they can turn them into werewolves," Sam explained. "They only way to kill them is with a silver bullet to their heart."

"Well, you guys killed it then, right?" I asked, going along with them. "I saw you shoot it." Dean shook his head.

"No, we injured it, though. So it won't be that hard to find tonight."

"You're gonna kill it tonight?" I asked. They nodded. 'Good.' I thought.

"Then I'm coming with." I stated. Dean let out a laugh.

"No, you're not." he said. I glared at him.

"Yea, I am. I'm gonna kill the son of a bitch that killed my brother. And you're not gonna stop me."

"Well you're not coming with us." Dean said, his mind made up.

"It's too dangerous. You've never dealt with anything like this before." said Sam. I let out a pathetic laugh. "You don't what I've dealt with."

"I'll just go by myself." I said, getting up. Sam got up to stop me but Dean was done.

"Sam, just let her go. If she wants to get herself killed then let her." he said. Sam looked at him like he was crazy. 'Finally,' I thought, exiting the room. 'I'm out of here.'

Sam watched Terri leave wanting to go after her. He glared at his brother.

"Dean are you insane? She's gonna get killed if she goes up against it by herself!" he yelled.

"Would you relax? She didn't even believe that it was a werewolf. She's not gonna try anything." Dean said, confidently.

"Well she seemed pretty set on getting revenge on what ever did kill her brother. So chances are she's still gonna go out there tonight." Sam retorted.

"I doubt the werewolf is gonna be in the same place two nights in a row," he said. "She'll be fine."

"But what if she's not?" Sam asked. "What if we're just letting her die?" Dean tossed the gun he'd been holding to Sam and shook his head.

"She'll be fine."


	5. Chapter 5

As I stepped out of the hotel room, I was immediately familiar of my surroundings. The hotel the guys were staying at was only a few blocks away from the cemetery, where mine and Alex's car was parked. 'It's my car now.' I realized, sadly. I just wanted to get to it so I ran to the cemetery. Being a fast runner I got there in a couple of minutes, only to find an empty space where the car should have been. 'What the hell?!' I thought, angrily. 'Where's my god damn car?! Maybe those lunatics moved it.' I thought, looking around for it. It was nowhere to be seen.

I wandered through the graveyard wondering if they had really buried Alex. I saw the graves of my parents and younger brother untouched and kept moving towards where I thought the spot where I had found Alex last night was. After a few minutes I stopped. There it was. A mound of dirt where he used to be. I couldn't take it. My legs gave out and I fell in front his grave. 'Why is this happening?' I thought, as hot tears streamed down my face. 'What did I do to deserve this?!' A choked sob escaped my throat. "I'll kill what ever did this to you, Alex." I swore to him. The sun was beginning to set. 'I must have been passed out for hours.' I realized. That thing would be back soon. At least I hoped it would.

I sat there staring blankly ahead until the black of night overcame the entire cemetery and a familiar growl sounded near me. I shakily stood up and reached in my pocket pulling out what I hoped would kill this thing. The bushes in front of me rustled and it was last night all over again. Only this time I was ready to fight back. As the creature jumped out at me, baring teeth and claws, I let the blade out of my pocket knife and held it in front of me letting it plunge into the soft flesh of the monster's chest.

It whimpered, but regained itself quickly and threw me to the ground, scratching my arm deeply in the process. I was numb to pain at the moment so I ignored it and led a fruitless search around me for the fallen knife. When I couldn't find it I looked up to see the creature a few feet from me. It got ready to pounce and I gripped the grass. 'This is it,' I realized. 'I'm gonna die. And my brother's murderer is gonna get away. Maybe Sam and Dean will kill it.' No. What right did this monster have to destroy the most important thing in my life? What right did it have to destroy my hope? I wasn't gonna let someone else avenge my brother's death.

It jumped on me and I exploded in rage for the second time in my life. I pushed it off of me and started attacking it. Each punch fed my anger. It was the boy who insulted my parents in 7th grade. It was my uncle who beat me senseless every night. It was the monster that murdered my big brother, my best friend. It wasn't gonna get away. Too bad it was stronger than me. Even when I had adrenaline on my side.

It flipped me over and was about to reach its claws into my chest to tear out my heart when a bullet from behind me came and tore through its chest. It cried out and flew backwards off of me. I sat up and watched as it's monster-like features disappeared. It was a man. 'They were right.' I realized, shocked. 'It _was_ a werewolf.'

"We've gotta stop meeting like this." a voice from behind me said. I turned around and there was Dean offering a helping hand. I stood up on my own and saw Sam staring at the wolfman.

"Is it dead?" I finally managed to ask. Dean knelt to check and nodded.

"Yeah. It's dead." he said, glancing towards Sam. "You alright there, Sam?" he asked. 'Sam? What about me?' I wondered, studying my torn up arm. Sam nodded and walked towards his fascination. "How about you?" Dean asked, finally noticing my wounds. I glared at him. "Right. In pain. Gotcha." He said, taking my arm to get a better look. I pulled away. I didn't need his help. "I just need to see if it needs stitches, hold still." he said, impatiently. I backed up. "Fine." he said, giving up. "Bleed to death. See if I care."

"Dean, come and look at this guy." Sam called him. Dean walked closer and raised his eyebrows.

"Yeah, he's dead." he said, stupidly. Sam shook his head.

"I know that, but doesn't he look familiar?" Dean took a closer look.

"Hey, yeah, it's the hobo from the bench isn't it?" he asked, clearly amused. Sam nodded.

"What hobo?" I asked, finally saying something.

"When we passed this cemetery yesterday this guy was sleeping on the bench outside of the gates." Sam explained.

"That explains why he was staying in the graveyard when he turned..." Dean said. I shook my head. This was a lot to absorb.

"So, werewolves are real," I stated. "What about bigfoot?" They looked at each other and laughed. I glared at them. It wasn't that funny.

"No, you don't need to worry about bigfoot." Sam said.

"Almost everything else is real, though." Dean said.

"So, what, you guys go around killing monsters then?" I asked, feeling light-headed. They stole glances at each other before Sam spoke up. "Basically."

I sat back down on the ground, I was really dizzy and my arm was throbbing. "We need to get her to a hospital."

"And how would we get her inside? She can barely walk. If one of us goes in someone'll probably recognize us and call the cops." Dean argued.

"So, are we just supposed to let her die then?" Sam asked, angrily. Their voices were growing fainter.

"We can patch her up ourselves and send her on her way." Dean said.

"That's stupid, Dean." Sam said.

"You're both stupid." was all I was able to say before I fainted for the third time in 24 hours.


	6. Chapter 6

_"Alex, it's not fair! Why did they have to leave?!" I asked, crying into my brother's shoulder._ _He looked at me with tears in his eyes._

_"I don't know, Terri," he said. "Maybe God has a bigger plan for them." I pulled away from him, shaking my head._

_"I don't believe in god anymore," I told him in between sobs. He looked at me with sad eyes._

_"Ok." was all he said before pulling me in for another hug._

_"Promise you won't ever leave me," I said, pulling away again to look into his grey eyes. "Promise me!" He looked at me, letting a few tears escape_.

_"I promise." That was all I needed to hear._

My eyes fluttered opened and were met with the bland off white color of the ceiling. Laying there for a while I thought about the memory I'd just dreamt. It had taken place the day Alex and I had moved in our uncle's house, only 2 days before the funeral. 'He promised,' I remembered. 'He lied!' I felt the tears brim my eyes but refused to let them fall. I was finished crying. Sitting up I held my head in my hands. I was still dizzy and my arm still hurt. I looked at my arm to see how bad it looked and was surprised to find it stitched up. Glancing around I finally noticed the room was empty. 'Where are they?' I wondered, not completely caring. I noticed a duffel bag on the other bed and realized that I could find out more about these guys and what they did. I quickly tore through the bag looking for an ID of some sort. I came across a plastic bag filled with Ids, credit cards, police badges, you name it, they had it. 'What the hell is going on?!' I wondered, getting freaked out. 'Who are these guys?' Sifting through them, I read some of the names. Hector Aframian, Ted Nugent, Samuel Cole, Agent Ford. They had so many identities. I looked up at the sound of the door being opened. Dean entered and his surprised look to see me awake quickly turned to anger when he saw me holding the Ids.

"What the hell are you doing?!" he asked, advancing towards me, obviously pissed. I dropped the bag and froze. Shutting my eyes I waited for the pain to come. But it didn't.

"I'm not gonna hurt you." he said, softly. I opened my eyes and saw him reach down to collect his assortment of fake aliases.

"Why do you have those?" I asked, curiously. He sighed as Sam walked in the door, carrying what looked like a to-go box from a diner.

"We brought you some..." Sam started, and then noticed the bags contents spilled on the floor. "Food... Oh."

"We're wanted by the cops. So we have these to hide out from them." Dean explained. 'Ok... I'm being held hostage by fugitives. My life can't possibly get any worse,' I thought, closing my eyes again. 'Maybe everything will be ok again when I open them.' No such luck.

"Yeah...well I'm just...gonna leave now." I said, backing up towards the door. Sam stayed put in front of it, blocking my exit.

"Look, you're not gonna go running to the cops are you?" Dean asked, tossing the bag on the bed. " 'Cause then we got a problem." I shook my head.

"I just wanna get out of this place. Where's my car?" I asked, quickly. Sam looked at me quizzically.

"We didn't do anything with your car." he said. 'Then where the hell is it?!' I wondered, angrily. "It was probably stolen! Unbelievable!" I moaned.

"We'd be happy to drive you to your house." Sam said. 'My house?' I thought. It finally hit me. 'Where am I gonna live? There's no way I'm staying with Uncle Jim.' Alex and I had graduated high school the week before, but still had another month until we turned 18 and could leave. 'No.' I remembered, sadly. 'Until _I_ turn 18. He never gets to.' We were planning on getting an apartment together, but now I was on my own. 'I could combine the money we saved together and get a 1 bedroom place and get a job and-' My thought was cut off by Sam.

"Terri? Can we take you anywhere?" I stared at him.

"Umm...yea," I said, finally. "I guess."

We pulled up to the cemetery in a car that my dad would have gone crazy over. Traveling alone, I made my way to Alex's grave trying not to cry again. I stared at the mound of dirt for a few moments, before sitting down. "I don't know if you can hear me big bro..., but I'm gonna give this a shot. These are yours." I whispered. I wiped a stray tear away and took his dog tags off from around my neck, and buried them in his pile of dirt. "I don't wanna be alone. I need you," I couldn't hold back the tears now. "Why did you have to leave?! You promised! You promised you wouldn't leave me!" I was sobbing now. It wasn't fair. 'Maybe I should just end it. This pain is unbearable. If you get to leave then so do I!' I thought, angrily. It was then that I saw my pocket knife from last night only a few feet away. 'You can take me to him.' I realized. It was my escape. I crawled over to it and held it against my throat. 'Here I come, Alex.' I thought, closing my eyes ready to end the pain.


	7. Chapter 7

"So, where are we taking her after this, again?" Dean asked, turning in the driver's seat of his '67 Chevy Impala to face his brother. Sam sighed, before replying.

"Her house, Dean. Were you not even listening to her?" Dean shrugged his shoulders.

"There was a good song on. I was distracted. Sorry!" he apologized, sarcastically. Sam shook his head before looking back into the cemetery again.

"Do you think she's gonna be ok?" he asked, glancing back at Dean who was rummaging through his cassettes. "Dude!" he exclaimed. Dean snapped his head up in surprise.

"What?" he asked.

"Do you not even care what this girl is going through?" Sam questioned, angrily.

"Oh, come on Sam! We've gone through much worse and you know it!" Dean replied, annoyed. Sam shook his head.

"That doesn't mea-" he was cut off by a scream. They bolted out of the car, making sure they had their guns, and ran in the direction that the scream had come from. The cemetery.

I was seconds away from joining my brother in oblivion when a stupid couple came around the hedge and saw me. The woman screamed and the man came rushing towards me. I quickly thrust the knife, which was still caked with blood from last night, in front of me to keep him back, which only made the woman scream louder. 'Jesus, lady shut up!' I thought, annoyed. He stopped a few feet in front of the knife.

"I just want to help. Now hand over the knife." he told me. I rose my eyebrow. 'You've gotta be kidding me.' I thought. "You can trust me, I'm a police officer." 'Police don't help,' I thought. 'They only cause more pain.' He took another step towards me. I had stopped crying at the woman's first scream and gotten the hiccups. He turned to his partner/girlfriend/wife/whatever the hell she was and tossed her what looked like his cell phone. "She's having convulsions. We need to get her to a hospital. Call 911 and tell them our location and that Officer Santini is in need of an ambulance right away." 'Oh my freakin-' I was stopped in mid-thought by Sam and Dean rounding the hedge, full speed. Sam had trouble stopping and fell into the woman knocking himself and her over, halting her call for an ambulance.

"Are you alright?" Dean asked me, stopping more gracefully, eying the cop. I made no movement, still holding the knife in front of me.

"Do you know this girl?" the cop asked Dean.

"Yeah, she's with us." he replied, nodding to Sam casually. By then Sam had helped the woman up and was making his way towards Dean.

"Well, maybe you can help convince her to..." he stopped and looked them both fully over."Hey, don't I know you guys from somewhere?" he asked, suspiciously. "You look familiar..." Dean shook his head.

"Nah, we get that a lot. We'll just collect our friend here and be on our way." he said with a smile. The man's eyes suddenly opened widely.

"Holy crap!" he exclaimed. "I-It's you! You t-two! Sam and Dean Winchester!" he yelled. "You guys are wanted for murder! And fraud! And Theft! And-"

"Ok, we get it!" Dean interrupted. I stared at them. 'That's why they're wanted by the cops?!' I thought, shocked. 'My life is so messed up.' I realized, dropping the knife. The cop took this as a chance to grab me and hold the knife up to my throat.

"I know you two are nearly impossible to capture, so I'll make this easy for you." he explained with a shaky voice. "Either you let me arrest you arrest you, or your friend dies."

"You're not gonna kill her." Sam stated. "You're a man of the law." He just laughed.

"Oh, _I'm_ not going to be the one who killed her. You will. At least after I change the story a bit." he explained. 'Man, this guy's personality changed quick.' I realized.

"Only one problem with your plan, we're not gonna let you kill her." Dean said, smirking. "So, I'd let her go if I were you," he said pulling out his gun and pointing it at the woman. "Or _your_friend is gonna die."

"Dean, this isn't good idea." Sam said.

"Just trust me, Sam." Dean said. "So what's it gonna be?" The man seemed unsure of what to do. So he did what any other coward would. He ran away. But not before slicing my neck open a couple of inches.

"Ahh..." I put my hand over my wound, though, it wasn't that bad. Pain had become a main part of my life, I was used to it. Dean grabbed my arm and started pulling me towards the direction of the exit. I jerked back.

"What are you doing?" I asked. He looked at me, incredulously. "What makes you think I'm going with you?"

"What other choice do you have?" asked Sam. "I mean, how else do you expect to get home?"

'Well, let's see. I have no means of transportation, no money with me, an uncle who I know won't come and get me. I think I'll just go back to my original plan of killing myself.' I thought. Dean waved a hand in front of my face. 'Why does everyone do that?' I wondered, smacking his hand away.

"Hello? That cops' gonna go get his friends! We gotta get outta here now, Sammy, with or without this girl." Sam looked at me.

"We can get you home safely." he told me with pleading eyes. "Come with us." I nodded my head.

"Fine." I agreed. 'I'll figure something else out. Maybe I can steal one of their guns and end it that way.'

"Alright, let's go!" Dean said, giving Sam a push in the direction of the exit. Following them, I glanced back at the woman. She stood, making no attempts to move, gawking at us leave. I wondered what was going through her head.

We made it out of the parking lot just moments before a load of squad cars came rushing in.

"Told ya." Dean said. Sam rolled his eyes before turning back to look at me.

"So where's your house?" he asked me.

"Yeah, how far am I driving?" he asked, looking to see how much gas his car had. 'Where am I gonna go?' I wondered.

"Chicago." I replied, choosing a random place. 'That's a good 2000 miles away. That should give me plenty of time to get one of their guns and end this pain.'

"Great." Dean muttered.

"I hate Chicago." moaned Sam. He glanced back at me. "We've had some bad experiences there." he explained.

"Like almost being killed by a demon who posed as Sam's girlfriend!" Dean added. 'Demon?! Never mind, I really don't want to know.' I couldn't take anymore of this.

"She wasn't my girlfriend, Dean!" Sam snapped. I rolled my eyes. This was gonna be a long trip. 'Maybe I could just jump out of the car, instead?' I thought, seriously contemplating it.

"So, Terri, what was that cop trying to do before we got there?" asked Dean, glancing at me through the rearview mirror.

"Nothing," I lied. "He just went all psycho and started yelling at me." They didn't need to know.

I looked back through the window at the cemetery, knowing it was probably the last time I would be near my brother again.


	8. Chapter 8

"Just let me change the station this one time, Dean!"

"Sammy, how many times do we need to go over this? Driver picks the music, shotgun shuts his cakehole. And driver says the first classic rock station I've been able to find for the past hundred miles stays on!"

"What about Terri? Maybe she doesn't like AC/DC?" Sam said this as he turned around in his seat to plead for me to take his side. "Don't be afraid to say something if you don't like Dean's music. What would you prefer to listen to?"

I wanted to pretend to be asleep so he would stop bothering me. I was slouched in the back of their impala on the passenger side resting my head on the window. I guess I could have gotten away with it but something needed to be straightened out. I opened one eye and frowned, "I prefer classic rock. AC/DC is one of my favorite bands." That was the most I'd said so far this trip. I just wanted them to shut up.

Dean smirked at my comment. "She has good taste I'll give her that." He winked at me through the rearview mirror. I rolled my eyes and turned towards the window to watch the trees whizzing by. We had been driving for less than 2 hours and they had already fought like an old married couple at least 4 times. They may as well have been married; they sure didn't look like brothers like they claimed. Dean had short dark blonde hair and eyes that went from pale to dark green depending on where the sun hit him. Sam was a good foot taller and had longer dark brown hair and the craziest eyes I'd ever seen. Every time he turned around to say something to me they were a different color. I wouldn't even know what to call them, hazel maybe? One moment they'd be brown with green circling the pupil and the next they were a dark green with yellow and brown jagged lines circling the outer rims of the iris. But both pairs of eyes shared a cold, dead look you only get from a long, hard life. I guess that's how you could tell they were related.

"Are you serious? A song I like actually comes on and _now_ you change it?!" And here was fight number 5. I needed to get at one of their guns before I went completely insane. I cleared my throat. "I need to use the bathroom."

Dean let out a noticeable sigh after smacking Sam's hand away from the radio dial again and nodded. "I'll pull off at the next diner I see."

I frowned again and leaned forward. "You don't have to wait for a diner. A gas station will come up a lot sooner." He glanced at me through the rearview mirror and explained in a slightly childish voice. "I want pie." I'm surprised my eyes didn't get stuck in the back of my head from how big of an eye roll I gave.

Pie. How could such childish innocence exist in a man who fought the kinds of creatures he did? I slumped back in my seat. He reminded me of Alex. I swallowed back the thickness in my throat that came when thoughts of my brother crept up on me. I was done crying. I had spent the entire car ride envisioning getting my hands on one of their guns. How wonderful the cold metal would feel in my hand. I couldn't wait for the blissful peace that would come after I held it to my temple and pulled the trigger. I couldn't think about anything else. Unfortunately the two bozos in the front were easily distracting. "Did you hear me?" asked Sam. He had turned around in his seat to look at me again. Dark blue eyes rimmed with green and brown held mine. I stared at him for a moment trying to remember if I had heard him say anything. "No. What?" He sighed a little. They didn't seem to like that I was trying to ignore them. "I asked who we were taking you to in Chicago."

"Yeah, this better be a rich great-aunt or something, for how far I'm driving you." Dean added. I suppressed the urge to roll my eyes again since Sam was looking at me. They had told me they had something to do in the Midwest anyway so I didn't know why he kept complaining about having to drive out there. Sam cocked his head to the left a little. Oh right, he had asked me something.

I cleared my throat a little. I had thought up a story earlier that would hopefully keep them from asking too many questions. "My aunt Shirley lives there. She teaches at the University of Chicago so I'll be meeting her there. She's expecting me." Sam raised an eye brow at me. "How is she expecting you?" I slid right into my next lie. "I called her." It was Dean's turn to glance back at me now. "When did you have time to call anyone? I didn't even see you with a cell phone." Even through the rearview his eyes were very accusing. I faltered a little. "I-I called her while I was in the cemetery. I lost the phone when that cop came at me." His accusing stare turned sympathetic for half a second before hardening and returning back to the road. Good, I didn't need his pity. I cringed when Sam opened his mouth to say something. He was big on talking about feelings. He had tried most of the way here to get me to open up but I was pretty good on shutting him down. This time Dean was the one to shut him up before he could get a word out. "Stow the touchy feely crap, Sam, we're here." I looked up and could not believe what I saw. Dean had pulled into the Red Horse Diner in Ellenburg, Washington.

Nostalgia swept over me and I nearly choked on it. The last time I had been here was when my family was coming through on our way to Yellowstone National Park. Ben was a baby so was obviously crying and mom had begged him to wait until we came to a more family friendly restaurant. But my dad had been entranced by the array of classic cars and motorcycles parked out front and couldn't be convinced to pass by. The Red Horse was a 50s diner that held classic car shows during the summer and we had stumbled on it just in time. My dad kept us there for hours making us pose with each hot rod the restaurant showcased. He was like a kid in a damn candy shop. Candy that was laced with crack. After a couple hours of this unique torture, my dad had asked a guy passing by to take a picture of all 5 of us posing with his favorite car he had found. He had hung the family portrait near the front door, much to my mom's embarrassment, and I could see it as clearly as if I were holding it. My dad held Ben up in a silly Lion King pose with my mom hugging his middle. Alex and I stood in front of them in a half hug with big smiles. We looked like one big happy family.

I couldn't breathe. My mouth opened and closed a few times as I tried to find the words for what I was feeling. Something between a fish being cast out into the Sahara and impaling my heart with a blunt object. The pain from the memories that were resurfacing was making my vision fuzzy and black around the edges. A couple snaps from calloused fingers in my face helped bring me back a little. The muffled noise I had heard the background had registered as Dean trying to get my attention. "Hello? Anybody home?" He had switched from snapping to waving a hand in my face. My eyes slowly regained focus and found his. "I don't wanna be here," was all I was able to whimper. His eyes widened a little. "Why not?" My throat started burning with all the reasons I shouldn't have to give. Sam poked his head in the passenger window right then. I hadn't even noticed him leave the car. "Are you guys coming? Terri? What's wrong?" He must have noticed the look on my face. "Dean she's shaking. Turn the heat up." I was shaking? And here I thought everything else around me was shaking. Dean threw his hands up. "It's the middle of summer!"

"Dean!" They argued back and forth about the temperature but I didn't really notice. I started to wonder about what Alex would say if he were here. _"Earthquake!" _I imagined. I let out a hysterical sounding laugh. Yes, I decided, that's what he would say. I couldn't help myself now, that maniacal laugh came back with full force. Sam had slid into the back seat with me at some point during their arguing and was trying to put his jacket around my shoulders, but I was shaking even harder now from the laughter that it was nearly impossible. He and Dean now simply stared at me as if I were some side-show freak that had wandered into the back of their car. Though, I could barely see now since my eyes were filling with tears. I was in hysterics and I didn't know how to stop. I tried to stop laughing by dragging in deep breaths but all I was managing to do was to sound like a dying hyena. I slammed my head down into the bench seat in front of me so my forehead hit it square in the middle. If I couldn't calm down then I would just knock myself out. After a couple more hits I suddenly felt a stinging force on the left side of my face that sent me flying into Sam's chest. Shoving my hair out of my face I drew in a deep ragged breath and looked up at where the pain had come from. Dean sat still in the front seat, eyes wide with questions. He looked like a statue with his hand up, ready to slap me out of it again if need be. I pictured him reaching across the back seat and doing it again and again. Slapping me until my entire face became numb and all I could see was black. "Yes," I nodded quickly. I scooted over to him and took his wrist. "Again. I deserve it." I tried to force the palm of his hand into my face but he wouldn't budge. He just sat there gaping at me with wide green eyes. "Hit me again!" I tried to command him. I felt pressure on my right arm and whipped around. I couldn't believe it. Alex was there trying to pull me away. I stared at him, dumbfounded. Then it dawned on me. Of course. Of course Alex was here. He was trying to save me from Uncle Jim! He was always trying to save me. I smiled at him. "I knew you'd come back for me."

"You knew who would come back for you?" A hesitant voice asked. That wasn't Alex's voice. I blinked several times and my eyes focused. Alex wasn't there. It was Sam who had a grip on my arm and was trying to pull me away from Dean. My heart sunk to the very pit of my stomach and churned. My brother wasn't here. He was gone. He was dead. He had been ripped to shreds and would never be there to save me again.

Suddenly I heard a horrid noise that made my very soul ache. It sounded like death. It took me a few moments to realize that the noise was coming from me. I was screaming. No, not screaming. I was wailing, desperately crying out for my brother to come and save me. To come take me away from this pain. I thought my head was going to explode from the pressure until a crackling pain in my face came suddenly. My head snapped back from the force of it and what was left of my vision slowly faded into nothing until I was gone.


End file.
